The Well
The Well |
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Connecting Hope to the Hurting | |
Wednesday
September 17, 2008
"Oh, why should light be given to the weary, and life to those in misery?
They long for death, and it won't come. They search for death more eagerly than
for hidden treasure. It is a blessed relief when they finally die, when they
find the grave. Why is life given to those with no future, those destined by God
to live in distress? I cannot eat for sighing; my groans pour out like water.
What I always feared has happened to me. What I dreaded has come to be. I have
no peace, no quietness. I have no rest; instead, only trouble comes."
Job
3:20-25
Been there, done that? Me too. I must confess that my depression in times past led me to beg God to let me be sick, because then someone would come and comfort me.
When my friend Sharon lost her son she discovered that people expected her to just bounce back to her old self within a matter of days. I remember very well the agony she went through as people expected her to just "get over it"! On top of her grief was piled a huge barrage of guilt because she couldn't just snap out of her grief.
She and I were both delighted when we heard not long ago that the average grief span for a parent who loses a child is approximately ten years. It is just not natural for a parent to lose a child. Self-questioning and self-doubt are common elements of parental grief.
I am thankful that our Father allowed the book of Job to be included in our Bible. His struggles have provided hope for many a weary traveler. His words in today's selected passage of scripture echo our own pain, but especially the pain of a parent who has lost a child.
Many times parents simply want their next breath to be their last one. They can't possibly imagine living beyond the moment without the laughter, the smile, or the face of their child in the next frame of life. The pain reaches into the very bowels of their being and darkness blackens their way. All of this is a natural flow of grief for them. If it is stymied by the zeal of one who wants to talk them out of their misery it will cause literal health problems for them. Too many of us put on masks and try to go about our duties and before we know it our hearts are cold or our actions empty; sometimes both.
Grief and how to handle it are an important part of what our ministry needs to be about as we face the holidays. We all have friends that may need to retreat into a time of being alone or maybe they will need us to just come and sit with them as they go through old pictures and memory albums. Giving time to friends in pain is ministry personified.
Father, we give You permission to plan our days over the next few months. We know the holidays have a tendency to get hectic and we lose perspective of what is really important. Give us eyes to see and ears to hear what we need to do in Your name to relieve the pain of people around us.
